Today is Feburary 10, 2014.
Today is the day that my second little baby was due.
We started trying for a second baby a little over one year ago and in June 2013, we were elated to find out we were expecting again. It took 7 months before I became pregnant with Colton so I was a happy mixture of shocked, relieved, and excited when it only took 5 months for baby #2.
I lost that little one last August, when I was 15 weeks into my pregnancy.
I can't begin to describe how physically and emotionally painful that experience was. It was horrible.
But it got a lot better. In fact, every day gets a lot better. Days like today, I'm so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful that I know what Heavenly Father's plan is for me and that through the Savior, I'll be with my family (including that little one) forever.
When I woke up this morning and realized that today was my due date, I inevitably felt a little sad. However, (and more importantly), I also felt hopeful. We're still trying for another child. We're still not pregnant, but we're confident that everything happens in the Lord's way and in the Lord's time. Maybe Colton needs a little more time alone with Spencer and me before we give him a sibling? Maybe we need to learn more about prayer and relying on the Lord for comfort and peace? Maybe our future little one is serving an awesome mission up in the pre-earth life or is busy spending some family time with his/her other future siblings? Who knows?
Although we don't have all the answers to our questions, we have a lot more than we did a year ago. We're doing as much as we can and I'm getting the medical attention that I need to address my PCOS/thyroid difficulties and I can't help but feel like 2014 is going to be a good year.